Back again

The holidays were great; filled with adventure, late nights, parties and often part time work now that we are adults, but we find ourselves beginning university once more in the new semester. We should look to improve ourselves and work harder and smarter this semester. We must not look to repeat the doings of the past few months, but rather seek to find new ways to act in relation to our studies and the university lifestyle. These next few tips will certainly help to make sure you stay ahead of the rest!

Socialise:

Although studying is great (Considering you’re paying for each of your electives also and wish to make sure you’re making your payments worthwhile), limiting your periods to be social can have serious repercussions on your mental well-being. As shown here, making sure you have a balance between your study and social aspects of your life are incredibly important.

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University is the period in which you can be yourself and communicate with like-minded individuals and also meet other folks that you normally would not have met otherwise if you never attended. Go to parties, visit bars and join sporting groups- the list is endless! A large amount of fun is all in your future, make sure you grasp it tight!

Clubs:

Every university has a large selection of clubs to enlist in. They range from literature societies to gaming clubs to even communism groups. They are great ways to meet other individuals and make friends, minimising the awkwardness that can occur at the beginning of the University semester if you do not know anybody.

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If you do not like any of the clubs shown or do not find one you can relate to, create your own. Most universities allow this! Create your own club and help it rise to the top, it’s like your very own The Sims 4 scenario!

Study:

If maybe last semester you did not perform as well or perhaps you just want to start your university journey off on a great start, studying is key. Use your universities resources as much as possible, communicate with your Tutors (Class teacher) and visit the library whenever you can. Establish a study routine and try to stick to it, but do not make it so strict that it is impossible to follow and does not allow flexibility.

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Make sure you are eating and drinking properly, as well as exercising. By doing so it will improve your ability to study and your marks will improve!

By following these tips it will ensure the next University semester will go as smoothly as possible. Just remember, your journey is in your hands.

 

 

 

Our love

Our love, a touch of colossal entities,

Lips locked in endless heat, forsaking breath for another kiss

Dark nights surrounded by lights within, blasting songs that you’d sing to me

A smile on my face watching you, always

 

Our love, a creation of memories physical and not,

Your eyes a mix between innocent and sinful,

Desiring to find which one is apparent this time,

The song your eyes sing lure me to your hand- always

 

Our love, a mixture of sunrises to sunsets

Of hands grasping body, lips tasting impurity,

Words with layers only the other understands,

The world for us to traverse – together

 

 

A letter to myself

Dear old friend,

I know things were hard for you. Some days were harder than others but never were they easy. You grew quickly, you adapted and you worked. You watched others from afar but never felt connected, often feeling like an outsider, even when you wished you weren’t. Nights were both your enemy and your friend, being there to comfort and torment you.

You were young but you were old too. I will always look up to you and aspire to be as great as the person you strived to be. Always against the odds you prevailed, growing stronger in one way and weaker in another. You honestly believed you were meant for extraordinary things and that’s how you dedicated your time and efforts. To prove to yourself that you were as great as you wished you ought to be.

Sometimes books and pens were your only friends, alongside a hot coffee in the cold misty mornings. Other times adventures on your lonesome, on trains to places you didn’t know of but thought the names were elegant enough to warrant a visit, were events to make your heart swell and your eyes sing.

You had friends, but you never felt like you had them at the same time. Maybe writers were deemed for tragedy you thought, but inside you wished it weren’t true.

Dear future self,

I wish you have come to terms with who you are. I know you had trouble with that in the past, and it often kept you awake at times long into the night. I know that you wished for friends a lot, but now I hope you have come to terms that sometimes the best company is your own company.

You deserve solace, both in your thoughts and in your hands. Tragedy cannot paint you forever, and nor will it.

I hope that you have kept up your writing and produced many tales for people to read. Long after you go, your words will sing into the souls of many. Make sure those words are pure and whole.

Future self, I wish you stopped worrying about the past. Only what can be changed must be focused on. Make sure those happenings are what you wish. Do not let the world change you, you must change the world.

Dear present self,

Please be happy. Things will get better.

 

Jay Gatsby the Great

You ever heard of him? Of course, you have, everyone supposedly did.

People say he was a friend of the Kaiser or even an assassin, along with other ideas. He was neither, however. There are a lot of stories that people have created about him, but frankly, no one knows the true him. I knew him. The real him, before the stories and the rumours.

The word love, that’s what I originally called it, but now as I have aged more and witnessed more of the world and its various cultures, I have come to realise it was more of an obsession rather than love.

Everything was for her you know. Every dollar was earned for her, and every person he cheated out of their pockets was for her. Even when he went to war, I was by his side. They called it The Great War, but nothing was great. Nothing, except him. He’d write letters starting in “To my beloved Daisy” and ending in “Forever yours” but those letters would never leave his hand. I think he just wrote the letters in a hope that it’d ease his mind like it’d somehow connect the two of them on a subconscious level.

It didn’t, it only worsened his longing for her.

I was his friend, before the fame mind you. Even during it I still classed myself as his friend, although I left him behind. I could not stay. I sometimes even question what was the “true him” but I believe that my best hope in knowing what he actually was like is to reflect upon our time together before he had that house built in West Egg. He was new money, as was everyone else living on that side of Long Island, but I saw his money as blood money. I named it that because frankly, I did not wish to know how he earned parts of his fortune. Either through black market sales or other methods, I did not wish to know.

This obsession he had with Daisy Buchanan, I told him countless times that it would prove to be his undoing. It did.

I think I was his only true friend, apart from his neighbour Nick Carroway, and would tell him, money does not buy friends or happiness. It seems I was correct. Those friends he thought he had, they did not even come to his funeral. They just vanished, as I knew all along they would. That’s what wealth does, it plagues your mind with lies and whispers.

He died alone, shot by a drunkard. His lies finally catching up to him.

I believe he deserved much better. Daisy never deserved him and his undevoted dedication towards her. I don’t think no one did. Before all of the lies, he was a great man and even after everything, I still think he was great. Perhaps his tragedy has made him even greater.

The greatest tragedy of his life was that he was driven by a wrong dream. You should never base your happiness off somebody else I religiously told him. Especially if they only love the image of you, not who you really are under all of the rich words and practised smiles, as Daisy did.

It’s been far too long since I last saw him, before his death mind you. The last time we spoke, I could see the stress was finally building upon him. When asked if he had slept recently, he smiled and shrugged. He never wished anyone to worry about him.

Maybe it was because he was used to it. I should’ve worried more. I shouldn’t blame myself though, I was not to know what would precede.

I find myself thinking of his empire, and where it will float away to now that Jays passed on. I wonder what has happened to his house also, now that it’s vacant.

I heard Nick left as well. Maybe he couldn’t live with the memories facing him every day. I know I wouldn’t be able to.

I find myself thinking more and more of Jay, his memory always in my mind. Old sport eh, that’s what he called me.I presumed it was his word for endearing somebody.

I’m glad I was one of his closest. Even if I had to leave in the end.

So back to his obsession, perhaps it was not love. Maybe it was. I am not one to judge. I just reflect. That is all he left me with in the end.

Just reflection.

 

 

 

 

The ones that came before.

I did not understand it, and frankly, no one did.

What caused the Soviets to keep their victory a mystery? They claimed Mars years before we even placed men upon the surface. Something frightened them so much that they’d rather swallow their pride, than speak about the events that proceeded.

They had won the space race. The greatest achievement in recent decades and yet, they do not speak about it.

The Soviet flag sits upon the surface of Mars, in solitude from everything, even from those that placed it within the dusty furnace of the planet’s soil.

The American crew that arrived, alongside me, touched the surface a few days ago. Ever since we arrived, something has not been right. I feel on edge, cold shivers dance upon my neck, and I have trouble sleeping. I do not know what causes me to feel the way I do, but I know that something is not right.

The only trouble we are having since arriving is interference from the storm, limiting communication with the ISS, the International Space Station, and our headquarters in New York City.

Perhaps that is why I feel uneasy, knowing that we are isolated from the rest of humanity.

Yes, that is it.

We are currently staying inside the ship, due to the storm. Just watching the crackle of the lights outside within the multicoloured sky is breathtaking. Nothing in the books I’ve read have ever captured a scene quite like this. I was in awe.

The red soil was reminiscent of the Texan soil I was so familiar with. Growing up on a farm in a small county often left me wondering about the greater world and the sky I often gazed up, I had now explored.

The other astronauts were quiet, with the interaction between us all being limited. It was unusual; we were often quite talkative on the trip here, between rest periods.

I spent the first few days just documenting data, checking various parts of the ship for operational information and staring through the window wondering why we were alone, with a flag in the distance beckoning us with its mysteries.

Between reading various novels, I brought along on the journey (Charles Dickens novels make the majority) and drinking lots of coffee due to my insomnia and nerves due to the current situation, I decided to dedicate my time to researching Soviet flight records within the reports we brought with us from headquarters.

Update:

It seems the Soviets spent the decade of the 1970’s dedicated to research of Mars and the technology needed to achieve the long distance to the planet’s surface. From 1980-1985 Soviet Union data is missing, perhaps removed from various records.

Within this period I believe the Soviets launched a shuttle into space. With the events of the Cold War escalating after the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan, it would be the perfect time to confirm a shuttle launch due to the arisen tension being on that of military actions I theorised.

The question is, however, how were the Soviets able to place the first man-made object on the moon in 1959, but were unable to win the race to put the first man on the moon? Within 20 years it seemed they improved their technology drastically and were able to correct their loss by placing men on Mars instead. That is quite impressive but more so disturbing. If they triumphed over previous odds and advanced their technology so quickly, would they not brag? That is what frightens me.

Something terrified the Soviets incredibly that they remain silent.

I was worried I’d find out.

Update:

Another sleepless night just like the nights before. I was gripped by nightmares of strange voices calling my name and the firm feeling of being watched, followed by dark corridors and cool stones surrounding me.

I was much too tired to dedicate more research into the Soviet records. Insomnia was taking a large toll on my physical and mental well-being. I decided to try sleeping again. This time I switched the light off and placed a rag over my eyes, hoping to dim any lights that were made apparent within the room.

Update:

A high temperature, that was what I awoke with. Sweat stained my sheets, and I shivered relentlessly, unable to calm my body spasms.

I grasped the bottle next to my bed and gulped the water, feeling the cold crawl down my throat.

More nightmares.

I saw shadows of strange folk inching through the halls of the old building in which I traipsed through. They were toying with me, whispering lines in languages unknown. The house groaned, the beams on the roof creaking with every step I took. It sounded as if the very house was alive and angry at my presence.

Update:

The other astronauts mentioned nightmares as well. They all looked terrible, their eyes sunken in and often I caught them gazing through the window. Their eyes looked distant as if they were physically next to me, but mentally somewhere else. I wondered where that somewhere else was.

I was granted a few hours of sleep last night and thus felt more rejuvenated. It is a miracle the effect that sleep can have on the body. I did, however, have a dream of the groaning house again, but for reasons unknown, the house began to change into Mars. I was curious as to where these dreams were arriving from. I did not have much of a creative mind, rather that was more my brother than myself. I preferred data. It was succinct and applicable, the way I approached situations.

I, however, could not come up with a theory for this predicament.

Perhaps science could not answer all problems.

Update:

My hand was bleeding. Crimson painted my sheets, and my skin burned as if on fire. I could not rationalise this situation; something had attacked me in my sleep. Either that or I’m going batshit crazy and broke my knuckles.

I did not know what theory was better.

Update:

The Soviet flag stared at me. It intimidated me. I was angry, and I did not know why.

They told me they were upset in my dream. I wished I could stop their suffering, but alas I was forbidden to lay sight upon them.

Update:

I hadn’t seen the others in a few days. It seemed more quiet than usual. The storm began to worsen outside, the howling of the winds remained etched in my mind even in sleep.

I could barely hear myself think over the crackle of the thunder. We were running dry on food supply. I was going to write a ration table I thought, perhaps to show the others that my position was just as needed as theirs was.

Update:

Mum told me when I was little that I had to quit my small town mindset and accept others who were different to me. She said that we were all similar and aliens didn’t exist because the only aliens were folk we did not know and if we spoke to others who were different, we’d be better off.

I took her advice last night.

Update:

We spoke again. They said we would never understand them.

The ones that came before didn’t understand either.

Update:

I need to go. If I stay they will take me.

They told me they took the others.

Update:

I found God, and there are many of him.

If you are reading this, burn down your places of religion immediately.

They are coming for you. They are not happy.

This short story was influenced by a writing prompt on Reddit, in the Sub-Reddit “Writing Prompts”.

Winters Breath – Part 4

“This him eh?”

I could not see out of my left eye nor talk. Generalis made sure of that. Blood was everywhere, even in my goddamn mouth. Lost some teeth as well and gained a bruised eye in action.

“Yeah, I know he’s not much to look at, but he’s the one whose been causing you so much trouble,” Generalis stated. From what I could see, he was talking to a group of the Hunters inside the courtyard. It was a terrifying sight.

“Why should we buy him and not just take him from you?” One of the Hunters said, his deep voice a combination of grunts followed by a snarl.

Muttering could be heard all around, with agreeance being the frequent sound.

“Better friends than enemies I do dare say. Would it not be better to be trade partners rather than enemies? Imagine the benefit that could be had. I could supply you with stock—”

“But we could just take your “stock” if we so wanted to,” another of the Hunters said, interrupting Generalis. From what I could see, he was pale as the snow surrounding us and wore dark wolf pelts as clothing. He held a spear.

“As I said, allies are better than enemies. Our true value lies in loyalty.”

I scoffed without meaning it. Beautiful lie I thought. I received a backhand by the nearest guard, my ears began ringing in response.

I knew my humour would land me in trouble one day.

“And why here did your little pet have a chuckle? Did he catch you in a lie?” The leader of the Hunters spoke in a sarcastic tone. It was intimidating.

“No, this “pet” is just mentally deranged.” He emphasised the word pet and spat on the floor as he said it.

“We knocked him around too much, and now he’s gone loony. Our bad,” Generalis continued.

All I could taste was the strong flavour of iron mixed with bile within my mouth. It was freezing, and I felt myself shivering, perhaps from a fever or from fears, I was unsure.

With the limited vision I had, I could see individuals facing each other in deathly stances, trying to intimidate the other, a sad image. Before the Change, we were ordinary folk, and now we have become things we were not. Perhaps these beasts were always inside of us, but societies rules kept us in check.

It was a sad sight. Even writers would have a hard time romanticising this scene, I thought.

Now we are abominations, fighting the very last humans for no reason other than want and desires. We could have cooperated with the others and helped one another to rebuild the world, but instead, we chose destruction and death. I know the world will never be the same, it will never heal. Even if the sun slowly becomes stronger again, it will be no use. Our fates are sealed.

I often wondered if it would be a better choice for the world to just die. Maybe it’d save humanity, leaving us a legacy that we could not dampen anymore than we already have.

As I watched these folk continue to argue, with weapons brandished and curses flying sharp at one another, I hoped for an end to the suffering I endured.

I am tired of this all.

Gunfire woke me. My ears were pierced by the echo of the bullets ricocheting off nearby steel. The suffering will not end, but maybe I can outrun it I wishfully thought. Without a second glance, I heaved myself forward between the nearby buildings as my stomach shuttered from losing blood, leaving the conflict in the courtyard behind.

Barking followed me as I dived through the window closest to me, shattering the glass and slicing my arm. I looked up and gasped, my eyes in shock.

A girl sat in the corner.

That girl was Martha.

To read part 3 of Winters Breath, click here!

 

Goals- An update

Each day is one step closer to achieving my goals. 

Dedicating my life to literature was an easy task. Making it happen however was more difficult. It was the conflict in my head that occurred whenever I considered bringing forth my writing pieces to light, with the idea that hiding it was more beneficial. I now see that that is not the way I wish to live my life and having exposed my pieces was an incredible choice on my behalf because it gave me the push to grow and enhance myself consistently.

Being a poet, writer and journalist certainly had its hard days.

Some days are easier than others though, that is foreseeable. At times I get dissuaded and tempted to pull back from the public eye, to escape the public sphere and enter it again once I’ve tempered my words to a better degree.

I’m glad I didn’t.

I know that one day all my hard work will be worth it and that I shall be able to change various aspects of society with my words for the better.

The day will come, I know it will because I will make it arrive through my hard work, dedication and persistence.

The one achievement that I am working towards making possible is the finishing of the book I am currently writing. It has taken a lot of research and late nights. However, I am far away from its release date still. This excites me though because in all honesty, I know I will be sad once I have finished the book because it will have grown on me. More than it has already. Having more time to write is always a bonus to me.

I often am still writing till the sun is beginning to rise however, with the sunlight slowly beginning to flicker between the shutters of my blinds before I notice the time. My coffee has turned cold hours before, with the brisk morning air keeping me awake. It repeats every day and night, with me fighting the urge to sleep against the will to write with my words on the page always winning.

This book will be made possible through my sheer love towards literature and putting my heart and soul into everything that is written by my fingertips.

I will finish this book.

It will be enough.

I am writing this post to express that sometimes difficulties are holding you back from voicing your art, but as I have written here, you must because, in the end, it is your legacy.

Make sure your story is heard.

“If you can dream it, you can do it.” – Walt Disney